Oh My Sweet Carolinas!

Thanks to Dark Christianity, I had a good laugh this afternoon. Cory Burnell, the founder of Christian Exodus, has run into a snag in his plans to relocate to South Carolina. Apparently, a potential employer in South Carolina checked him out over the internet and was not too happy with what they found. According to the SPLC

Beginning in 2006, evangelical Christians will load up their mini-vans and hightail it to the Palmetto State, 12,000 at a time. Each wave of incoming fundamentalists will sort into groups of 1,000 and settle in legislative districts already loaded with Christian Right voters. Subsequent groups of 12,000 will scatter across the state until “the General Assembly is squarely in the hands of Christian Constitutionalists.

Are there that many white supremacists in the US? I don’t see that many moving from Idaho. And I didn’t think there were that many trailer parks in South Carolina. Heh Heh Heh.

According to the AP:

The co-founder of a movement to get conservative Christians to move to South Carolina so they can take over the government through the ballot box has delayed his own move to the state.

Christian Exodus co-founder Cory Burnell planned to relocate from California to Anderson County sometime this week. But he said the publicity surrounding the move caused his would-be employer to take away its offer. He wouldn’t name the company.

Smart company. And doing South Carolina a big favor, but sadly he will have to remain here in California.

Burnell has said 15 Christian Exodus families are already living in the county, with another two dozen families planning to move there by 2008.

Wow, a real neoConfederate army here. I think he vastly overestimated the number of crazies that would follow him to South Carolina.

Of course North Carolina doesn’t seem any better.

Tucked away a few miles off Interstate 40 just outside Asheville, N.C., the LifeWay Ridgecrest Conference Center provides Southern Baptists with a remote place to facilitate the nurturing of “Biblical Solutions for Life.”

The major theme of this year’s Worldview conference was a call for an ongoing push by Christian fundamentalists to tear down democracy and replace it with theocracy. Far from being super, it was rather scary.

Let them move to the Carolinas and get their wish, I’ll sit back and watch them self destruct.

During his lengthy discussion, North conceded that his views have not been embraced by the public yet.

At least a moment of sanity in this conference.

North skipped stoning at his Worldview appearance and offered a strident rant against secularism. According to North, the universe is ordered by an all-powerful God who will ultimately dispose of all the “covenant-breakers.” The so-called “covenant-keepers,” on the other hand, will inherit the riches of the heavens.

Wow, just wow. If these people get into power, unbelievers like me are in deep shit.

Church Boot Camp?

I once worked at a small computer consulting firm in the Midwest in the mid 90’s. We had recently hired a new programmer. He had arranged for a week of unpaid vacation to start about a week after he started. In casual conversation he mentioned that he would be attending a church boot camp for a week. He also started ranting about Waco and Ruby Ridge.

The rest of us sort of looked at each other with expressions of WTF? Church boot camp? What the hell kind of a church has a boot camp? Do they wear camouflage uniforms and have an obstacle course? Do they plan to overthrow the government? And from his description of the event, I don’t think it was this type of church boot camp.

Well this was the 90’s in the middle of the militia craze. The crazies had abandoned their conspiracies of satanic baby killers and had joined militias to be “patriots”. Now days these same idiots have joined the Minutemen and have crazy ideas about drug crazed immigrants. Have you noticed, it always seems to be the same people who join these types of fads? Whatever the crazy conspiracy du jour is, they’ll buy it.

Well, a couple of weeks after our strange employee came back from the church boot camp, Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols bombed the Federal Building in Oklahoma City. We worked in a Federal building ourselves and suddenly we had the US Marshals guarding our building and doing bomb searches three times a day. Suddenly, church boot camp guy, seemed a lot scarier. We had to tell our site manager, who then decided to call the FBI and the Attorney General’s office. They supposedly checked the church boot camp guy out and he was okay, if a little strange.

But while they were checking him out, we were on edge around him. I discovered a magazine article with the top ten conspiracy theories in it. It became our checklist of crazy things this guy would say. We managed to get everything checked off on the list. Things like black helicopters, UN takeover nonsense, Masonic threats, etc. If it was some sort of right-wing conspiracy, this guy believed it. I guess if one is rationally challenged enough to believe in a conspiracy theory, one conspiracy is as good as another.

Or perhaps he was playing a very, very, good joke on us. Check out I Infiltrate a Right-Wing Protest Group for a good joke on these guys. Perhaps this is the best way to lessen the threat of these groups. But I don’t have the balls (literally or figuratively). They’re too violent and crazy. But that was how the Klan was brought down. Their secret codes were broadcast on a children’s radio show and made fun of.