I get sale catalogs in the mail. HarrietCarter.com has this amazingly tacky Christian ornament. The ornament claims that spending the holidays with Jesus is better than with family. This brings up a few questions I have. How do they know that the holidays are better in heaven? How do they even know there is a heaven at all? How do they know Jesus is in heaven? How do they know Granny is in heaven? After all, perhaps she was a crack whore in her younger days. Or even worse, perhaps she mixed linen and cotton while knitting. Maybe she’s burning in the fiery pits of hell, being sodomized by demons. Perhaps HarrietCarter.com needs to sell an ornament for that.
Merry Chistmas from Hell … I love you dearly, Now don’t shed a tear, I’m spending my Christmas being sodomized by demons this year.