Happy Holidays Assholes

I went shopping at Target this weekend and had an interesting encounter with a cashier. Now, before you think that I’m complaining, actually the cashier was on my side. In addition to the gifts I bought, I decided to get some cards. I usually get some nondescript cards that cover any winter holiday that one might celebrate. But I have a couple of obnoxiously religious in-laws that always send me cards that are almost religious tracts.

This time I decided to get some cards that have a very large “Happy Holidays” greeting on them. These cards will go specifically to a couple of relatives and especially to a neighbor that kept sending us horribly paranoid anti-Obama emails before the election. Even after we asked to be taken off his email list and after we had retaliated back with anti-Palin emails.

Target had a huge selection of Happy Holidays cards for me to select from and I decided on the largest, most obnoxiously Happy Holidays cards I could find. The cashier rang up my items and grinned when she saw the large, obnoxious Happy Holidays cards. “For someone special?” she asked.

“Oh, definitely.” I replied. We both laughed. My opening salvo in the War on Christmas.

So Happy Holidays, assholes.


Looks like a Utah senator, Chris Buttars, wants to mandate that store clerks say”Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays”.

Sen. Chris Buttars wants Utah’s Legislature to declare its opposition to the “war on Christmas.”

The West Jordan Republican is sponsoring a resolution encouraging retailers to embrace Christmas in their promotions rather than the generic “holidays.”

“It would encourage the use of ‘Merry Christmas,'” Buttars said of the non-binding statement that is still being drafted. “I’m sick of the Christmas wars — we’re a Christian nation and ought to use the word.”

Several fellow lawmakers he wouldn’t yet name support his effort, added Buttars, who has a long history of championing the socially conservative agenda of the Utah Eagle Forum.

In 2005, right-wing pundit Bill O’Reilly took on the same fight, characterizing the so-called war on Christmas as part of a secular progressive agenda that would open the door to legalized drugs, abortion-on-demand and same-sex marriage.

One advertising executive thinks the Buttars message crosses the line.

“I’m kind of flabbergasted that there is even such a proposal,” said Dave Newbold, president of Salt Lake City-based Richter7 Advertising and Public Relations.

“We may be primarily Christian but that doesn’t mean that you force your language or beliefs on anybody,” Newbold added. “We live in a multicultural area and it’s right and proper to be sensitive to the various cultures.”

What a prick. Doesn’t he have other, more important things to do as a state senator than to worry about what greeting store clerks give to their customers?


4 Replies to “Happy Holidays Assholes”

  1. Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Merry Christmas, Happy Solstice, etc, to all non-assholes. It’s just that I get so tired of the right-wingers whining about how they’re so persecuted because they can’t force others to say Merry Christmas.


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